i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
