okay pat passed out under dana's car
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
