no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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