i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
