Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize