Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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