brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
