Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
