it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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