The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
