I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
