Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
