but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
