He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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