I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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