i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
