after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
