I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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