I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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