I think I am morally bankrupt
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
