I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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