Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
