dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
