You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize