is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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