Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize