Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
being pregnant is like rehab
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
