Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
now i know why i became what i already was.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
