Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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