Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am one with the molecules
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
