First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
