idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize