So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Enjoy the penises
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
