Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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