so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
