The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
