the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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