Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
