so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
