oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
