No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
