He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize