Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
