i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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