community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
