Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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