i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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