end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
