I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize