out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
