That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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