Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
