4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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