So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
