Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize