I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
