apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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