I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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