I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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