these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
