Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
