Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
