glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
