He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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