Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
