so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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