Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
