glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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