Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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