butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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