so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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