He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The air was thick with penises
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
