If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
