dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
