How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
